How Do I Write My Wedding Vows?

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Many people find themselves wondering how to write their wedding vows, and the pressure to get it exactly right can be overwhelming. After all, their wedding day is supposed to be the most important day of their life, so everything should be perfect, right? Well, not necessarily. At least, not without several caveats. One’s wedding vows are supposed to reflect the love and commitment to their beloved, so ultimately it should be in their own unique style. As long as it comes from the heart, it will likely be beautiful in its own right. To help you with writing your vows, here are several things to think about:


The format will vary, depending on how you write your vows. Traditional wedding vows include the following in your own words:

  •         Referring to yourself by name, and your soon-to-be-spouse’s name.  
  •         A pledge to your beloved of your lifetime commitment to them.
  •         Your love for your partner.


When it comes to what to say, this may be the hardest part. It may be of some comfort that keeping your vows simple is not only acceptable, it’s expected. Your guests and fiancé are already aware of your love and lifelong commitment to your partner or else you wouldn’t all be gathered on that day for your wedding. To personalize your vows, consider the following:

  •         Use your and your fiance’s formal names rather than nicknames.
  •         Describe how you are committed to your beloved. For example, is it for all of eternity, for ever and ever, or until death do you part? Consider how you yourself think about your commitment and put this into one sentence, or two at most.
  •         Love is the reason for your desire to be together for the rest of your life. It would be a shame to leave this out of your vows. It doesn’t to be complicated or even poetic. Sit in a quiet place and ask yourself to describe in a few sentences how much you love him or her.
  •         It’s okay to write a number of drafts, or not. For some, they work best under pressure which may mean they’re writing their vows on the way to the church. For others, it works best for them to write them months in advance. Just know that however it works best for you is how you should approach writing your vows.

Practice, Practice, Practice

You may feel nervous or anxious when exchanging vows, and you will have many people watching and listening to every word. These circumstances can make it harder to recall. Because you will probably want to say your vows from memory rather than reading them off a piece of paper, here are some tips to help you remember what to say:

  •         Keep your vows short.
  •         Write them in a way that reflects your natural voice so that reading them aloud literally sounds like you rather than someone else.
  •         Practice your vows out loud as many times as necessary so that you do not have to refer to your notes. Practice them the next day too to see if you still remember them. Time permitting, continue practicing.
  •         Practice your vows with your fiancé. This will make the actual ceremony feel more familiar and that can lessen your nervousness on your special day.

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